LIFE CAN BE F*****G CRUEL & BEAUTIFUL

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When I was a young girl the world was a magical place, full of fun, love and most of all it was safe.

I wanted to be a ballerina, an author, an archeologist, a pop star, a rally driver, a hero in any sort of career. I wanted to be married, have babies and puppies.

When I hit 18 I realised sadly it was very likely that none of these careers would be for me. Life had other plans for me. Life put me in situations that felt like the darkest depths that a human could go to, life made me feel worthless and life tested my soul to the very limits it could reach. 

As a human once you reach the very darkest point that anyone could physically reach, you have no where left to go. Describing this point in my life is unexplainable, the pain and the black is too much. It is like reaching the core of the earth a pitch black nothing, some people describe it as being a wall but the word wall, implies there is something on the other side. Which there was not. It was nothing a pure black never ending. If you have ever experienced deep deep depression you will understand the pain and helplessness that comes along with it.

The world isn’t here to make you feel good, and other people aren’t here to make you feel good. You have to learn about yourself, take time out to research different things, do activities you’ve never done and find what really makes your heart happy. 

Continue reading “LIFE CAN BE F*****G CRUEL & BEAUTIFUL”

LIFE CAN BE F*****G CRUEL & BEAUTIFUL

The Raw Pain of Anxiety & 5 Steps to Ease it.

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Yesterday morning I woke up crying. My little heart was breaking and I had no idea why. I was inconsolable, I had thousands of thoughts going round my brain and I felt suffocated. Every small problem seemed to grow at a rapid rate. 

I have very few people in my life who I can openly talk about my anxiety to. But for me this is all I need. Yet it can be difficult to speak about anxiety to someone who has never experienced mental health issues. If someone were to see you had been stabbed, they would be able to understand the physical pain you are going through, yet mental pain isn’t visible. It’s hard for people to understand or grasp someone’s mental pain when they themselves have never experienced it.

It is almost impossible to get rid of anxiety instantly. But here are a few tips that could ease the pain and help you focus.

CUDDLE! If you are lucky enough to be near someone you love when you get anxiety, cuddle them. Nothing in the world beats a cuddle off your mum or dad, whether you’re a 6 foot guy or 50-year-old woman. Cuddles are the best. Explain to your mum/dad, boyfriend/girlfriend how you are feeling and don’t be embarrassed to be honest. Make sure you have at least one person in your life who you can really talk to. If you do not feel that you have anyone that you can confide in please feel free to message me on Facebook/Twitter.

BREATHE! This one is simple. Just breathe. It is amazing how taking time to stop and breathe will help you. Focus on just feeling your chest rise and fall.

WRITE! Get a small notepad and pen that fit in your bag, for when you feel anxiety coming on. Take this out and write down the things that are bothering you and write down suggestions of how you can solve this. By just writing down your thoughts and feelings, this helps you gain a slight clarity in all the fog that anxiety clogs your brain up with. This is amazing for when you feel anxious when you’re away from home.

LOVE YOURSELF! Give yourself the TLC it deserves. If you aren’t looking after yourself, your body will soon start to get tired and run down. Getting at least 7 hours sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your body! Stay away from caffeine, switch up your coffees with decaf and try caffeine free fizzy drinks. Make investments for yourself, there is nothing like new pyjamas, candles, films, blankets. This goes without saying that this applies to males too, my boyfriend loves nothing more than candles, blankets and a good film! 

SEE A DOCTOR! You should never feel that because you aren’t physically unwell that the doctors won’t be able to help you. I have been seeing many doctors over the years for a range of mental health issues! They have never dismissed me or my problems. I even went to the doctors once when I was suffering with horrific nightmares, they were making me petrified to go to sleep. When I sat in the seat at the doctors I instantly felt ashamed and embarrassed. Yet as soon as I started talking, he listened to me and reassured me that I wasn’t being silly. He even spoke to me about when he was younger and the nightmares he suffered from. Just remember, doctors are humans too, and they do their job because they want to help you.

Once I’m out of the depths of anxiety, I always stop and remind myself how beautiful life is, how strong my body and mind are and how alive I feel.

Sometimes we have to stop and appreciate our souls, they carry us through some rough times. 

Chloe Constance. X

LITTLE REMINDER: ANYONE CAN SUFFER WITH ANXIETY. WHETHER YOU ARE MALE/FEMALE, 12 YEARS OLD/70 YEARS OLD.

ALSO, NO ONE HAS EVER DIED FROM ANXIETY ITS SELF.

Visit this page for an amazing anxiety self-help guide – http://www.moodjuice.scot.nhs.uk/anxiety.asp

The Raw Pain of Anxiety & 5 Steps to Ease it.